Maybe numb isn't the right word, but I just feel weird, bland, I don't really know how to exactly describe it or even what word fits it best. I just know I want to live an exciting life and do awesome things but right now I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything. I don't know what to do to make my life more interesting. Going out and partying/experimenting I don't think is going to make my life more exciting, especially because I don't really enjoy it. I guess I need some change in my life. You'd think moving into my own place would be satisfying enough but I'm already accustomed to it. I really need something,but again I just don't know what.
I don't know if getting a new boyfriend would really help. Especially since I still have a lot of feelings for Rusty. But sometimes I think well maybe that'll make me realize more things about my relationship with Rusty...however,is that really worth it and/or necessary?
His party went fantastically & I'm really glad.I wanted it to be the best birthday ever and I think we were pretty successful at achieving that:).He thanked me a lot and it was really cute.He deserves to have the best birthday,ya know?The past couple of months have been really difficult for the both of us,so he needed something to break it up.
I still need something,though.
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