Sunday, October 9, 2011

Do you regret?

Maybe. Sometimes at night when I'm alone or while I'm in the library thinking about how that could have been me studying with a boyfriend or just while I'm walking on campus. Those times.
I really tried, in the beginning, to push all those thoughts away. I didn't want to miss him or think twice about my decision weeks down the road because I knew at that time the decision was right.
Do I still think I made the right decision? Mostly, yes. Despite my mom and friends thoughts. Just because I'm treated incredibly well by someone and they're really awesome does not mean we're a perfect fit. I'm sure we could have been together longer,but I don't know for how long.

There's still things I'm unsure about, but then again who is sure about everything they do or have done? I just really need to let go. Let go of everything.
I feel like I get a lot of criticism about staying in touch with ex boyfriends. I've never really thought or dug deep enough to try to figure out why I do this exactly. Not every relationship ended well, but all of the main people/ people I had some sort of connection with, I've always kept in touch with in some way, shape, or form.
First long relationship: Kyle. Dated for 4 yearsish. Don't gasp or widen your eyes. It was a long distance thing and was barely a real relationship. Regardless, I thought I was "in love" and got the first taste of reality. Reality check here: You're not going to be with that person forever. You're not going to get married, so don't even try to plan it.
After this relationship, to many I seemed incredibly pessimistic. In my eyes now and still, I'm just being realistic. Nothing lasts forever and I stopped daydreaming and trying to look into what the future might hold for me & _________.
A few little relationships pursued after this with people who I had little to nothing in common with and those people I don't keep in touch with and don't really care to even though the relationship ended fine.

this will be continued


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