Time Just Speeds On By

It has already been over two months since the break up and like he has said nothing has felt too incredibly different except for a lot more pain than when we were together. I keep thinking that there has to be some way, besides being together again, that will fix. There has to be something I can do to get through this and respect his wishes. There just has to be. I wish I knew what.

A big part of me still wishes things were the same.

I feel so weak and pathetic a lot lately. That's not very common of me.

It sucks too because I feel like it's going to take me forever to emotionally/mentally get over this and how are gonna change/improve if I cant move on? If I don't give Rusty the space he wants, then I really won't be able to talk to him at all. Probably what I need because then I'll have more of a reason not to talk to him.

I really need my strength back to get through all of this.

God, I just wish things were back to normal and we were together. I think I'd feel whole-er again.