My how things change

Change is such a weird thing. It really is. It's one of those things that can creep up on you so easily, without you even witnessing it, until it smacks you abruptly in the face. A lot of changes have been going on in my life, which most I haven't liked.

One day you have five best friends who you count on and love and think will be there forever. Then, all of the sudden, you aren't living your own life-you're in someone else's and the comfortness of a group of friends is no longer there.

I really didn't mind not having my own life. I mean I had a life, don't get me wrong. However, I was very much involved in Rusty's. Even though we didn't hang out every day like a lot of couples do, I was involved in his life. Well, it is a little expected once you've been dating someone for 2 and a half years.

But now, I am left alone and I don't know what is what. I feel like I need to rebuild.

I don't really want to move on from him. I just want to move forward. I need to press play again,because I've been paused for too long it seems.

There's so many things I want to do. I feel like ever since I've unfortunately fallen into this rut, I haven't had any motivation, inspiration, or passion for anything really.

I'm slowly getting out of it. I want to take Rusty with me,he's been lost in it for far too long.

I want to learn an instrument. I want to study abroad. I want to go skinny dipping.

I want to make a stencil and put it everywhere. I want to do something brave. I want to make myself happy. & more importantly I want to make the people around me happy too.